Some people see the red flags but think I can help them, not rescue them but stay and be optimistic and then the minute they wake up to it they’re thrown a crumb and it starts again until that is they begin to focus on the only life they can save, their own.
And in a nutshell, here’s how I saved mine
Being able to separate putting others needs first and focusing on my own ambitions has always been a challenge for me, I guess it came from my younger self as living in a caring environment was something I felt compelled to continue but out in the real world I found that others didn’t mirror the same fairness and it has been to my own detriment that there have been times in my adult life that have been plagued with a need to over care which has subsequently led to wasting precious time and energy and more often than not being in position were what I earned largely kept things afloat but didn’t serve my own needs. However my most productive times have been when I’ve been strong enough to place boundaries and separate my focus from others into something that’s consumed my time in a constructive way, allowed finances to flow and blessed me with positive energy.
Why I used movies
I identified that I have a specific set of personality traits from watching certain movie characters, this knowledge soothed me as I felt less alone but I felt I needed to explore this to understand how I could improve my interactions which I did through dating sites and within work situations and what I discovered made me realize that people responded to me according to their attachment style and I reacted according to mine. I then worked out from three specific movies what was acceptable in terms of behavior from others and visa versa and emulated specific characters behaviors from these and other movies that came my way with the aim of being able to consistently build a level of assertiveness to serve me in future interactive situations.
Today I’m still very aware that when crisis looms I lean towards my former attachment type and that’s why it’s likely that you’ll find me sitting in a cinema alone taking notes because I need to keep myself in check but for the best part I’m largely able to cope and likely to practice asking myself what do I want before taking on something because here’s the thing you can waste so much time being in a situation that doesn’t go anywhere because of the fear of asking what is this or you put your own ambitions to one side because of the amount of energy you’re putting into keeping something going which just depletes your self-worth in the long run.
Can I help you?
If you're struggling to assert yourself because it's easier than challenging others behavior or if you’re tired of being in control all the time then I understand just how you feel right now but rest assured your situation IS redeemable. I instinctively know when I speak to people the impact their type is having on them but it’s all about them experiencing it for themselves and that’s were movies come in because they offer a safe space to explore why things happen in your life and how to work towards an intentional result so you get the life you want from essentially tweaking how you respond to others initially and how to react in the future.
What others say
"I would recommend Lynn as a supportive and skilled life coach with an empathetic approach which has enabled me to develop the capacity to find solutions to issues" NM - London
"Creative way of thinking about my life and where I'm heading" JH - Liverpool
"It inspired me and I came away feeling confident, optimistic and determined to achieve more things in my life" SH - Wirral
How to get involved?
The best place to start is to sign up for the online course HOW MUCH LOVE DO YOU NEED TO SUCCEED? - the link to our online school is in the free resources page and the course is an introduction into helping you determine your type though movie characters with the result of you having an idea of whether to embrace certain personality traits or watch out for them, if you prefer a live session or a more in depth telephone session click on the headings below to access more details and to book.
Lynn is a qualified movie therapist, mentor and life coach who struggled to establish her niche in a crowded coaching market, she'd used movies to self-soothe through many years of coping with loved ones with ADHD and depression but it was only when her life took an unexpected turn that she realized change needed to come from herself. With this in mind she used the experience of emulating movie characters behaviors to not only build her own resilience but fill a gap in the self-help market and she now encourages others to take on her philosophy so they can not only negotiate the modern world of dating but close relationships and everyday interactions/ situations to subsequently create a renewed sense of self so that individual happiness is achieved.
Her expertise is self-development and she's worked with a diverse range of people by helping them use movies as a vehicle towards increasing self-esteem through behavioral change to overcome relationship conflict and work/life balance issues with the support of The School of Social Entrepreneurs from where she graduated as a fellow on the Social Innovators for Health program.